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Boise, Idaho: Are Love and Sex before an Arranged Marriage Worth It?
Samuel M. Ward 3014 Science Center Drive Boise, ID 83716
Dating and Desi relationships can be a complicated affair. Especially, when it comes to relationships with love and sex before an arranged marriage.
Most of the time, dating in the Desi community is still a secret romance and will seldom become family knowledge. Usually, if one or both parties involved know they are going to have an arranged marriage.
This specific kind of relationship explores experiencing love and sex or either, whilst knowing that the relationship itself is temporary and limited by time.
Restrictions which act as the barriers to stop the relationship from having a future include religious differences, caste, nationality and yes, in some cases class and status.
So, is having a relationship with love and sex before getting married to a completely different person worth it?
The trait of having this kind of relationship in Desi life has been going on for centuries and is nothing new. But are they more the ‘norm’ now or are people questioning their purpose?
It’s fair to say, that meeting someone, getting attracted to them and then dating them is not something that does not happen, Of course, it does. But this is more about the context.
Whilst some Desi men, still have that desire to ‘have fun’ before settling down, it is also something Desi women are becoming more akin to, where they will happily have a relationship knowing it is not for keeps.
This kind of relationship is very common amongst young South Asians and even in the UK, USA and other countries
It can start in school years when adolescence is prime and then take place at college and university, and subsequently even in working life. Especially, since women are marrying later and experimenting more with their own desires and needs.
Miriam, a 19-year-old student says: “I’ve known my boyfriend since school. But there is no way I can introduce him to my mum and dad. They’d disown me. So, we just meet and enjoy our time together until it ends.”
Jaspal, a 20-year-old says: “I’ve dated a number of Asian girls from different castes and religions. And it wasn’t like they did not know what they were doing or what they wanted. They were up for it as much as I was, fully knowing it wasn’t going to last.”
The opportunity to experience love and sex with someone to whom you are attracted to despite their nationality or background such as caste or faith can be an exciting one for many. Leaving behind the notion of what is right or wrong.
Meena, a 23-year-old pharmacist, in favour of them, says: “Most of the time it is about learning about yourself too and in a way preparing yourself for the future when it comes to marriage and its challenges. Both emotionally and even sexually.”
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The sex element in this kind of relationship has developed much more than the past. Desi women want to experience it too, like men.
Kammy, a 21-year-old student says: “Having a relationship for fun and sex nowadays is not uncommon. But it leading to marriage is a battle that you cannot easily win, especially, if he is of a different religion or caste. You still end up doing what your family wants to keep the peace.”
Except for the girl who wants to ‘save herself’ for her future husband and will not partake in full sexual intercourse – but may enjoy other physical activities with the guy. There are many who have such relationships and then happily split, valuing the experience they had from the love and sex, while it lasted.
Sujata, a 23-year-old banker, says: “I’ve had a number of relationships with a few men to date. I don’t see anything wrong with dating or full on relationships, even if you know there is no future in them. Why? Because everyone is different and you can learn so much.”
Karan, a 21-year-old student says: “If you know the constraints from the start. You both know what you can and you cannot do and what to expect. Once you know this, the rest is up to you to get what you want from it. Mostly it does involve going out, having sex and being with one another to share fun times.”
So, what is the attraction for these relationships before marriage? Is it not better to just find someone who you think you can marry? Like someone who is ‘safe’ i.e. within your specific backgrounds such as caste, religion or status?
The freedom of love and sex are quite centric to these relationships to make them worthwhile.
Many Desi people who have been in these relationships feel that both people get the opportunity to freely experience love and sex with someone they like rather than someone who is most likely chosen for them by family.
Fahad, a 20 year-old-student says: “If you know you are going to marry someone to please your parents, say like a wife from abroad. It’s up to you if you want to have some fun with like minded girls freely, isn’t it?”
These relationships do work as long as both parties stay clear from expectations of each other.
Falling in love is not a crime here and is natural, but if it becomes obsessive and having one person in need of more from the other in such a relationship, can quickly make things difficult.
Tina, a 23-year-old, says:
“When I started dating, I was about 20 and didn’t think much about a future with him. We both knew we had cultural differences but were attracted to each other. I then fell deeply in love and wanted more from him. Knowing we could be with each other, it led to him starting painful breakup.”
Sajid, a 22-year-old fitness instructor says:
“I dated a girl from a different caste for a few years. We did everything, shared everything. I did want to marry her but she couldn’t commit due to fear of her parents. I was quite hurt. Since then I’ve never looked for long-term relationships.”
In fact, a definite end of such a relationship is usually when one of the parties is succumbed by the family to marry. At this point, the relationship which probably shared love and sex, fun and romance, all comes to an end.
Davinder, a 26-year-old, says:
“I loved my boyfriend and I did everything to make him happy. I was hoping it would last. But in the end he had an arranged marriage. And I even attended his wedding as a ‘friend’, which was really to help me get over him.”
Kulbir, a 25-year-old IT programmer says:
“I met someone at Uni and while knowing we were not culturally compatible, we started dating. Thought of it as a Uni romance but we carried on after for years until when she told me she was having arranged marriage. What happened after that was devastation and panic. I even told her to elope with me. But she chose family over me.”
This is a common thread in Desi relationships which are destined not to last, due to the way culture and society suppress such unions.
Engaging in these relationships is always down to individual choice but many do not see the point. Because why be with someone you are not going to be serious with or just be with for ‘time-pass’?
Those for them would most likely argue, this type of relationship allows you to explore who you before marriage. It can suit both people who are happy to share a friendship, romance, love and sex without the added pressure of committing to marriage.
Relationships are hard work, but this Desi version of relationships can be even more complicated or in fact, an ideal for those who accept their limitations.
It is in essence, the likely a matter of principles and values versus the urge and desire to experience a relationship whilst acknowledging there is a loss at some point.
With free speech, it's like that: You can make any offending remarks about white men, and the mainstream media and mainstream opinion will applaud you. You can't say anything negative about feminism. Feminism is sacrosanct. Fuck it.
Raleigh, North Carolina: Why Vagina Tightening Is an issue? - Vaginal Tightening
Donald I. Munday 1186 Jennifer Lane Raleigh, NC 27601
What is the pelvic floor?
The vagina itself is a muscular passage capable of great elasticity. It normally is less than an inch wide, but can dilate enough to accommodate a baby’s head during childbirth, and then return to its previous proportions. The muscles surrounding the vagina which help maintain this tone are the Levator Ani, made up of the pubococcygeus, puborectalis and the ileococcygeus, and the pelvic fascia, together forming the muscular partition known as the pelvic diaphragm or pelvic floor, through which the vagina passes.
What do the the pelvic floor muscles do?
The pelvic muscles prevent uncontrol leakage of urine by contracting when coughing, sneezing or straining.
The pelvic floor muscles support the organs of the abdomen while standing.
The pelvic floor muscles protect the pelvic organs from external damage.
The pelvic muscles keep the pelvic organs in their place.
The pelvic floor muscles help when urinating, having gases and bowel movements.
The pelvic muscles have a role while having sex.
Like for any other muscle, they need to be fit and properly toned to fulfill their functions.
Causes of a weak pelvic floor
Under use. Like for any other muscle the pelvic muscles need to be trained to work properly. Regular exercising of these muslces needs to be done all thoughtout life.
Pregnancy and giving birth.
Ageing decreases muscle tone.
Long term straining when being constipated, chronic cough or obesity.
Consequences of a weak pelvic floor
Weak plevic floor muscles may cause or worsen some conditions like:
Mixed urinary incontinence.
Pelvic organ prolapse.
A loss of vaginal sensivity.
These physical issues take a huge toll on women. Not only does socializing become a problem, having to stay in close vicinity of a bathroom at all times, but constant 'dribbling' of urine cause have a massive psychological impact. In addition there are issues with maintaining proper hygiene, increased chances of developing urinary tract infections, and giving off an offensive smell because of the urine. Another one of the biggest problems women with loose vaginas face is that not only does it make intercourse less pleasurable for them, but also for their partners. This reduces their quality of life together, often causing dissatisfaction and emotional discord between couples. Even culturally speaking, urban myths doom a woman with a loose vagina to be rumored promiscuous - but there is a simple solution - vaginal tightening. A loose vagina is not an insurmountable problem.
The role of vaginal tightening
Vaginal tightening techniques have been around for ages. Increased awareness and self empowerment among women has lead to more women learning how to tighten their vaginas properly, whether it is clenching exercises like Kegels, or using specialized equipment like vaginal cones and ben-wa balls. These also help in vaginal tightening by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, which helps women to 'clench' better, and passively improves vaginal muscle tone as well. With time, not only can the 'grip' be gotten back, but urinary incontinence due to loose muscles can be cured, and more intense orgasms achieved. It's a completely resolvable matter- a loose vagina does not have to mean the end of the world, the end of your social life, or the end of your relationship.
Vaginal tightening treatments
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As with any other muscles, the vaginal walls and in fact the entire pelvic floor needs to retain strength and tone what can be done in a number of different ways.
Vaginal tightening surgery
Vaginal tightening surgery, also known as Vaginoplasty rejuvenates a woman's vagina, tightening muscles and repairing soft tissues. Full recovery from a vaginal tightening surgery takes up to 6-8 weeks and you will have to stay away from strenuous activity and sports throughout the healing process. Prices generally start at $5,000 dollars and the vaginal tightening procedure has lots of possible side effects such as pain, discomfort, bleeding and swelling.
Vaginal tightening exercises - Kegels
Kegel exercises to get a tighter vagina are now being performed daily by thousands of women worldwide. Kegels require squeezing the pelvic muscles, lifting them inwards and upwards. Even tough there are many benefits of doing Kegel exercises and they are a proven to be an excellent method for regaining tone, vaginal tightness and strength, most of the time they are not performed the right way putting undue pressure on the abdomen and inadvertently work larger muscle groups such as the buttocks and stomach.
Vaginal tightening products
They are many vaginal tightening products made with 100% all natural herbal medicinal plants that have very strong astringent properlies as well as properties that will help keep a healthy vaginal balance. They come in such forms as creams, gels, pills, tablets, capsules, sticks, wands, oils, soaps, washes and contain at least one of the following herbal extracts that have been used for centuries in Asia; Manjakani (Quercus infectoria), Alum (Argilla Vitriolutum), the Woodfordia floribunda (Woodfordia fruticosa) and Kacip Fatimah (Labisia pumila).
By removing dead cells and replacing them with newer ones, by healing internal wounds, preventing irritation, disconfort, infection, itching & burning, encouraging natural lubrication, promoting attractive odor and delaying ageing effects these vagina tightening products will help you tighten your vagina and can be used while doing Kegels or after a surgery to speed up the recovery process.
Biofeedback for Vaginal tightening
Biofeedback for vaginal tightening requires to insert a sensor, also known as an electrode or vaginal probe into the vagina. The vaginal probe, connected to a visual and/or sound system, lets you see and/or hear the contraction while execising your pelvic floor muscles. Based the feedback given by the device, through the colour of the light and/or the intensity of the sound, you will know whether the muscular contraction is done properly or not.
The biofeedback allows you to correct the contraction while doing the exercises on your own, as well as allowing you to gradually increase the effort and duration. The biofeedback will help you get more and more confident knowing that you are correctly contracting your pelvic floor muscles and properly carrying out your exercices.
Pelvic floor stimulators for Vaginal tightening
Pelvic floor electrical stimulation is a very effective technique that uses low frequency electrical currents, transmitted by a small electronic probe inserted into the vagina to stimulate your pelvic floor muscles deep down, inducing contractions of the pelvic floor muscles and consequently tightening your vagina.
Repeated pelvic floor electrical stimulation will tighten your pelvic muscles and restore pelvic health and bladder control while increasing the blood flow, reducing infection risks and allowing for a healthy cell renewal.
Biofeedback and pelvic floor stimulator devices are an amazing alternative to manual exercises and a quick, safe and easy alternative to surgery. These pelvic floor toners will help you regain vaginal tightness without putting the body under undue stress and strain.
Even though manual pelvic floor exercises can be performed effectively for vaginal tightening, studies have shown that over 50% of women do not perform pelvic floor muscle contractions the right way and that manual pelvic floor exercises target only up to 40% of the pelvic floor muscles whereas using an electronic pelvic floor toner targets up to 90% of the muscles of the pelvic floor.
Educated women are sexually less attractive, so let's stop that nonsense of sending every girl to school.
Hammond, New York: Chinese border residents buy North Korean bride with a bag of rice
Troy R. Miller 493 Oak Street Hammond, NY 13646
Today, in our eyes, marrying a foreign girl or a foreign husband is not difficult as long as both sides have love. This is also a shortcut for lots of girls who want to enjoy a fairly comfortable life, but for North Korea girls all this is like asking for moon. They can not marry men out of North Korea according the law and can not even go abroad, because they do not have a passport,North Korea does not allow citizens to own private passports.
That’s mainly because when they see the outside world, they will not return to Korea. But Kim Jong-il himself has two foreign marriages, the second wife is a South Korean movie star, and third wife a Korean fromJapan, both can be called “foreigners”.
Korean girls in poverty are also eager to marry a wealthy foreigner, while when the normal foreign registration channel was closed after by North Korean government, they can only turn to illegal immigration. Usually there are two smuggling ways: one is to walk across the ice ofYaluRivertoChinaside at winter night, the other is to bribe North Korean border guard with money.
If any Chinese man takes a fancy to a Korean beauty, in most cases they will get the girl by bribery, and usually 100 Yuan or a bag or rice can make it, but the majority of the North Korea brides are illegal immigrants trafficked to China.
The China side also needs regular procedures to get married, but they can not do that, many Korean bride even giving birth to child are still unregistered household and have to hide everyday.
If tipped off these Korean brides will be sent back to North Korea while waiting for them is a notorious flattery of “traitor” and prison. According to the laws of North Korea, for the first repatriation from Chinathey will be sentenced to reeducation through labor for one year, the second three years, and the third five years.
Nowadays in rural areas of Yanbian, Jilin Province,Northeast China, many people will lend a hand and introduce hungry North Korean girls to locals as wife. Some village even has more than 10 North Korean brides, some of whom are bought from traffickers for a 10,000 Yuan.
They can understand, speak Chinese and are satisfied with life in China, but fear of being sent back to North Korea grips them.
Longing for a better life is not wrong! When can the North Korean bride be like a Vietnam bride who can get married to foreigners freely?
In rural villages of the border many Chinese men buy Korean girls as wife, especially for those in poverty or with disability. Traffickers seize this market, traffick a lot of Korean girls and sell to the villagers 10,000 Yuan per girl.
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These Korean girls look good, work hard and care for the elderly. Most of them can understand and speak Chinese in a few months and they are very satisfied with life here.
But we all know, these girls are black households, marrying them has a risk. For rural people, human nature and feelings between people gain the upper hand, they feel as long as people do not report, officials will not investigate that, and this kind of live is also very good.
Of course these girls do not want to go back toNorth Korea, It was a very poor place, and people there even suffer from starving everyday just like China in its 50s and 60s.
Chinese people want to go to developed countries like Europe and theUnited States, most are likely to fulfill their dream of gold, but North Korean come toChinamainly in order to solve their food and clothing problems. If it is not intolerable, who are willing to risk their lives to flee their own country and do not want to go back?
Erectile dysfunction is mostly a vascular disease. Shockwave therapy, as commonly applied by Thai urologists, causes total neovascularization of the vital organ. The result: super erections, even at age 75.
Mountain View, New Jersey: The Human Vivisections of Herophilus
Ricardo M. Regan 1419 Spring Haven Trail Mountain View, NJ 07470
Ancient physician Herophilus is considered the father of anatomy. And while he made significant discoveries during his practice, it's how he learned about internal workings of the human body that lands him on this list.
Herophilus practiced medicine in Alexandria, Egypt, and during the reign of the first two Ptolemaio Pharoahs was allowed, at least for about 30 to 40 years, to dissect human bodies, which he did, publicly, along with contemporary Greek physician and anatomist Erasistratus. Under Ptolemy I and Ptolemy II, criminals could be sentenced to dissection and vivisection as punishment, and it's said the father of anatomy not only dissected the dead but also performed vivisection on an estimated 600 living prisoners [source: Elhadi].
Herophilus made great strides in the study of human anatomy — especially the brain, eyes, liver, circulatory system, nervous system and reproductive system, during a time in history when dissecting human cadavers was considered an act of desecration of the body (there were no autopsies conducted on the dead, although mummification was popular in Egypt at the time). And, like today, performing vivisection on living bodies was considered butchery.
There is no denying that involving living, breathing humans in medical studies have produced some invaluable results, but there's that one medical saying most of us know, even if we're not in a medical field: first do no harm (or, if you're fancy, primum non nocere).
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida: Manual Found in Al Qaeda Safe House Shows Disturbing Torture Methods
Ruth D. Shankle 3039 Travis Street Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33418
WASHINGTON – Al Qaeda terrorists use blow torches, electric drills and meat cleavers to torture and force information out of their victims, according to a "how-to" book discovered in a terrorist safe house in Iraq.
The Defense Department recently released disturbing images and cartoons showing how to torture a captive found by American forces during a raid on a Al Qaeda safe house a few weeks ago. They also found photos of tortured Iraqi victims.
The book guides followers of Al Qaeda how to interrogate and torture captives.
The drawings and cartoons depict ways to use electric drills and irons, meat cleavers and other devices to force victims to talk or harm them.
Some of the drawings show how to drill hands, sever limbs, drag victims behind cars, remove eyes, put a blowtorch or iron to someone’s skin, suspend a person from a ceiling and electrocute them, break limbs and restrict breath and put someone’s head in a vice.
Items found at the safe house include electric drills, hammers, blow torches, meat cleavers, pliers and wire cutters, chains, screw drivers, whips and handcuffs.
Earlier this week U.S. troops found the information near Baghdad, along with five Iraqis being held.
Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters Thursday that Al Qaeda poses a dangerous threat to the United States for years to come.
"Clearly, whatever military advice we give, both in Iraq and regionally, must take into account that this group — of Al Qaeda — has targeted free nations, to include the United States, and how our long-term plan and our long-term recommendations must deal with that very real threat to the United States," Pace said at a Pentagon briefing.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the United States continues to direct most efforts to defeating Al Qaeda, but he predicted insurgents in Iraq will ramp up attacks this summer
"I think the worry that we have is clearly what we have seen over the past year: that whatever progress is made — and particularly in the last few months — often is overshadowed when Al Qaeda will launch a major attack that kills a lot of innocent civilian Iraqis," Gates said.
Universal education for women is not in the interest of men. For some women, a good education is OK. For the majority, it is unneeded.
Valley Park, Missouri: Turkey Lowers Age of Consent to 12?
Jason B. Vansant 3221 Court Street Valley Park, MO 63088
An international kerfuffle after Turkey's failed 2016 coup led to reports that the age of consent in that country had been lowered to age 12. Turkish officials deny the claim.
In August 2016, numerous social media posts and news articles reported that after a failed military coup in Turkey, the age of consent in that country has been lowered from 18 to 12. For example, Sweden’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, Margot Wallström, published a tweet affirmatively stating the age of consent in Turkey had been lowered precipitously.
Turkey’s Deputy Prime Minister angrily denied Wallström’s statement on Twitter as well, terming the claim “stupid”.
A British tabloid detailed the origins of the claim, noting that a recent court decision had struck down a law defining sex acts with children under the age of 15 as “sexual abuse”:
The decision by the country’s constitutional court removes a legal provision that all sexual acts against children under the age of 15 are “sexual abuse”. Children aged 12, 13 and 14 will no longer receive automatic protection as a minor, according to the ruling, but will be expected to offer or decline consent in sexual activity. Experts say this is a green light for sex with “consenting” minors as young as 12. The Guardian provided a more nuanced take on the developments that led to the rumor, reporting that “Turkey has summoned Sweden’s envoy in an escalating row after Stockholm accused Ankara of legalising sex with children” and stating that the age of consent in Turkey had not been affected by an unrelated July 2016 ruling pertaining to the adjudication of child abuse cases:
“It is a scandal for a foreign minister to post such a tweet based on false news or speculation,” the Turkish foreign minister, Mevlüt Çavusoglu, said in televised comments, adding the Swedish ambassador to Ankara had been summoned to his ministry. However, the Swedish foreign ministry said it was the chargé d’affaires who was summoned by Ankara, as the ambassador was still on vacation. Çavusoglu blasted the “unacceptable” tweet, saying Wallström should have acted responsibly.
“A foreign minister should not tell lies and should not adopt an approach accusing Turkey,” he said. “Yes to criticism but this is a slander, a lie.” Turkey’s constitutional court in July annulled a criminal code provision punishing as “sexual abuse” all sexual acts involving children under the age of 15, responding to a petition brought by a lower court. The court has given a six-month period for parliament to draw up a new law based on its ruling. The Guardian affirmed the age of consent in Turkey remained at 18 and was unaffected by the court ruling in question:
The lower court that brought the petition was worried there was no distinction between cases of sexual acts involving a young teenager or a toddler. The legal age of consent in Turkey remains 18 and was not affected by the ruling. But it drew a furious response from activists worried it would open the way for unpunished child sexual abuse. In a lengthy statement, Turkey’s Minister of Foreign Affairs blamed a “falsified headline” published by a “discredited newspaper” and displayed on a prominent news ticker in Vienna for the rumors:
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A falsified headline, claiming that abuse of children under the age of 15 is allowed in Turkey, was displayed on an electronic news ticker of “Kronen Zeitung” newspaper at the passenger lounge of the Vienna International Airport on 13 August 2016. This headline does not reflect the truth at all. Another headline reading that “Through vacation in Turkey you only support Erdogan” was intentionally displayed on the same ticker in the near past. We deplore and strongly condemn that an international airport, which is located in the centre of Europe and intensely used by passengers from different countries, is abused by a discredited newspaper to spread its irresponsible, distorted and falsified messages in order to defame a friendly country and its nation.
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs took the necessary steps through the Austrian Embassy in Ankara and the Turkish Embassy in Vienna also conveyed its reaction about the matter on the same day.
Turkey is a state that always aims at protecting and improving the universal human rights and is committed itself to the international conventions in the field of child rights and their additional protocols both verbally and spiritually, as an esteemed member of the international community. Turkey is aware of its responsibilities and duties in this field.
A country in a position of the rising centre of racism and xenophobia ever increasing in Europe should focus on healing these diseases through its politicians, media and society. Instead, some irresponsible media may falsify and reflect even judicial decisions in another country to feed their hateful and hostile discourses against a society and we consider it as a manifestation of these diseases.
Unfortunately, the statements of some Austrian politicians and officials against Turkey and EU membership of Turkey encourage such defamatory news.
This tendency damages social harmony and peace in Austria where more than 300 thousand people of Turkish origin live. Although a copy of the ruling pertaining to the sexual abuse law is not readily available, officials in Turkey have maintained that the rumor is a misinterpretation of that judicial decision and that the age of consent remains at 18 in Turkey, not 12.
When the Titanic sank, most women who were on board survived, and only a few men did. A few dogs also survived, taken along by their female owners. Such is the character of women.
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